roadtrip

"Are you really from California?"

Almost a year ago, H and I were discussing options for our “big vacation” for the year. Since he gets 4 weeks off, we usually have one week be the family reunion, one week be some kind of holiday gathering, and the two weeks be ✨the big one✨.

“J, we can do anything. What sounds good?”

“H, I want to see America.”

Given about 16 days, how much of America can one see?

A fucking lot. Here’s the trip in numbers:

• >2500 miles driven over 14 states

• in 19 ft of teeny camper van

• visited 11 friends (plus an infant!)

• slept in 6 campsites (and one Walmart parking lot)

I just read the Anthropocene Reviewed recently, so I’ll borrow John Green’s shtick of reviewing each leg of the trip out of ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

The first leg: Smoky Mountains

Sorry friends, we thought the Smokies were only ok. 😜 We’re spoiled by the West Coast and more dramatic national parks I suppose.

They’re green. Nice streams and hills. Got some cool caves.

It’s really pretty and I’d hike it again, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to come back. 2 out of 5 stars.

The long leg: Blue Ridge Parkway

We actually drove the whole length of the Blue Ridge Parkway.

Which was… hella rad?!?

We did not expect this. There’s something special about this really-quite-grand Depression era project, supporting an American Dream that feels a bit distant to us, but just as… tangible as it must have been, almost a hundred years ago when it was built.

For folks who haven’t done this before, it’s a slightly-windy road that you drive at 45mph. It’s over the Blue Ridge Mountains which are pretty consistent (they looked like broccoli-covered hills to me most of the way), but there are pretty pulloffs every few miles, where you see other people (sometimes campers, sometimes motorcyclists, etc.) who are all there just… driving… for fun. (There are more efficient modern highways that intersect regularly and Google Maps will keep trying to make you get on if you’re navigating. As if you’re going anywhere lol.)

There are also landmarks, but we mostly just enjoyed the drive.

We give the experience of time-traveling along this road back into the thirties 4 out of 5 stars.

The fake-out: Shenandoah

We had this big hike planned, but we got fogged out, lol. We giggled about Skyline drive’s beautiful view the whole way. As we say a lot, “always have a reason to come back.”

At least the campsite had a nice shower.

Under these circumstances, the smoke machine we drove through gets a 1.5 stars out of 5. Half a star more for the shower.

Friendship-tour first leg: DC, Wilmington, Providence

A few years ago, I started the practice of flying out to go see friends that are hard to see otherwise. I still don’t do it nearly as much as I’d like (it really still feels like we never see our friends that aren’t in California or NYC…), but a road trip was a great chance to make an efficient sequence of drive-bys!

There’s something wonderful about seeing friends in their natural habitat. We got to see friends from college and past jobs now living the lives they’ve made. Snippets like following a part of route they walk to work, eating at their go-to date restaurant, shopping at their local grocery are all great ways to see them and their cities. Even when all we could meet up for was just a meal, our heart felt fuller with every stop.

Providence was a particular highlight because H spent 8 years there. 4 undergrad, and 4 years of med school. We were there while the graduating seniors were waiting for actual graduation, and trickling out. On our “nostalgia tour of Providence” as we called, we made stops at every place that held meaning for H and our friend Taka.

Friends and nostalgia always get 5 out of 5 stars from me.

The “Park”: Niagara Falls

lol the falls.

Fun fact: America was so embarrassed of what we did to Niagara Falls that the original establishment of the NPS was partially backlash to its existence.

After we came home, we watched the first three episodes of the Ken Burns’ documentary about the national parks—The National Parks: America’s Best Idea. Watch it to learn what a total badass John Muir was, if nothing else.

Despite its parkishness, the falls are still fucking epic. 2 out of 5 stars.

Friendship-tour second leg: Ann Arbor, Cincinnati

This leg had Alice the baby and Zero the dog!!! It was very cool to paddle down the river in Ann Arbor during pleasant early-season. Cincinnati is kinda extra hard to get to under normal circumstances, so our stop there was something we’d been wanting for a long time.

Friends are always 5/5 stars, but also getting to see an infant and my favorite old pup (both of whose lives seem to fly by at a faster pace than ours…) was extra special. 6/5 stars.

The sleeper hit: Mammoth Caves

So the world’s longest cave system is just chillin underground in a normal-looking chunk of Kentucky woods. It’s well visited by the adjoining towns so the infrastructure is nice and since the only way in is via guided tours, the tours are also great.

We went on the Domes and Dripstones tour the first day, then the Extended Historic Tour the next morning which was pretty good coverage of the parts of the cave system they have open to guests. The infrastructure they’ve strung up down there to make the caves so beautiful and accessible is pretty impressive, and I found the parts where they turn off the lights to be spooky and magical.

This big hole in the ground gets 4.5/5 stars.

The last stop: Nashville

We actually jetted straight from our cave tour in the morning to Nashville by early afternoon, stopping by the campsite we were staying at that night to make sure we had a spot on their busy Memorial Day weekend.

The campsite we stayed at was called “Seven Points” just outside of town on a lake, and it was managed by this very nice couple. The wife asked us many questions, including that “Are you really from California?” We’d finally made it somewhere people didn’t expect us! In a tiny dorky van! That’s gotta be come kind of achievement unlocked.

Nashville was super pleasant. We went to a brewery for a whiskey tasting (Hans got most of a double-dose of course), bought some booze for the neighbors at home, saw the Decemberists put on an incredible concert at the Ryman auditorium, passed out at that lakeside campsite at the end of the longest day ever, slept in the next day, and did little else but roll into our fancy stay at the Bel Air ✨Mansion✨ for one night of old-money luxe after two weeks of couches and campsites and too few showers.

Nashville gets 3/5 stars from us for variety of experience and general excitement.

—

We packed a lot of activities and also a looooot of miles into this trip.

Admittedly, the 40+ hours of combined driving were a lot of work (we called this a babymoon, but I think we babymoon’d wrong), but practice did bring ease. In addition to everything else interesting and transformative about this experience, I’m pleased that this is how I learned to love driving.

When I pitch why backpacking is awesome, I often like to describe the feeling of having trails and trees fill your eyeballs and brain, and then for a while after, that’s all you see when you close your eyes.

After this road trip, I had a similar experience of seeing this rolling slideshow of American highways, smeared across the beautiful skies and diverse greenery of the East Coast, Midwest, and South in May.

5/5 would recommend roadtripping America with your favorite person in a campervan.